Where Baseball Players Go to Die

Piggybacking on friend and fellow Fantasy Baseball blogger, Greg and his latest post about tirades, I have a tirade, although considerably less profanity-laced than Lee Elia's, of my own I need to get off my chest.

Growing up as a Cubs fan, I undoubtedly tortured myself with all sorts of theories that tried to explain the Cubs' decades of futility. One of my favorites was that once a Cubs player was traded away from the team, he would have a career resurgence. Conversely, players that were already stars would all of a sudden hit a slump once they donned Cubbie Blue. As torturous as this exercise was, it gave me a strange sense of calm, as if I was supposed to feel better about their baseball impotence because I had a theory to explain it. I guess you have to have a sense of calm to endure the success of Dennis "The Eck" Eckersley with the A's after a few sub-par years with the Cubs, for example. I take this so far that I fully expect one-time phenom (and pitcher who is forever linked to the Steve Bartman episode in the 2003 playoffs) Mark Prior, currently trying to make a rehab comeback with the Padres, to miraculously reverse his proneness to injury, and be a Cy Young candidate just because he's not with the Cubs anymore.

Unfortunately, this theory doesn't just apply to the Cubs. I have, and others share, this same theory for my own fantasy teams (baseball, in particular) as well. One big example from this year's team is David Wright. 1st round stud and 5-stat darling, Mr. Wright Stuff, upon hearing that he was going to be traded to my team, "IamJabrone", from "Muddy Mud Skippers" immediately decided to hit a slump. Don't believe me? Check out these stats:

David Wright as a member of MMS: .311AVG, 13 Runs, 4 HR's, 19 RBI's, 3 SB's, .441 OBP and .635 SLG in 20 games.

David Wright as a member of IAJ: .220AVG, 7 Runs, 2 HR's, 12 RBI's, 1 SB, .324 OBP and .356 SLG in 15 games.

Too few data points to make conclusions you say? That might be true, but consider this: David Wright was hitting the casing of the ball in the early part of the season, but then hit a major slump which many would say he is still in. When did this slump begin? That's right, April 21st, the exact day that the trade was accepted by both managers.

Let's look at Ryan Zimmerman, the 3B who was sent in return (along with Billy Wagner)

Ryan Zimmerman as a member of IAJ: .215AVG, 8 Runs, 2 HR's, 9 RBI's, 0 SB, .240 OBP, .333 SLG in 20 games.

Ryan Zimmerman as a member of MMS: .279AVG, 9 Runs, 3HR's, 9 RBI's, 0 SB, .323 OBP, .459 SLG in 15 games.

If you don't believe it now, consider last year's trade where I should have received a slightly better end of a deal with O.D. where I receive Brett Myers (who was on the DL at the time) and Rafael Furcal for Todd Jones and someone else who I can't remember. What happened? Brett Myers moves to a closers role and proceeds to finish the season with an ERA around 5.00. And Furcal? He finishes with the worst season of his career by far. Note: Roland drafted Furcal this year who, in case you've been in a coma for the last 6 weeks, is one of the hottest players in baseball this year. There are similar stories in basketball and many others in baseball that I've managed to purge from my memory so that I can just wake up in the morning without feeling ill. You've been warned: If you're a fan of a baseball team and want to see them win a World Series, make sure that none of their key players play for a C-Lauff managed team.

However, there's another side to this story. Whereas players go to decompose and rot as members of my roster, players decide to step things up when hearing that they will become members of Roland's team. Want examples? I have plenty.

This year, Roland trades raking Aramis Ramirez to Black Sox and the day that Aramis Ramirez arrives on the Black Sox roster, he gets in the wrist and misses 3 or 4 games in a row. Pat Burrell, top 10 fantasy player for Roland at the time of the proposed trade, learns that he will be joining O.D's squad and immediately hits a 1 for 17 slump. Remember the trade that sent Paul Konerko and Brett Myers to C.J. in return for a supposedly injury-risk Albert Pujols? Konerko has been terrible and Myers has been marginal. Meanwhile, Pujols is playing very Pujols-esque and not at all like he's an injury risk. Even before these trades, Roland was probably going to have the top hitting team in the UPL this year. His pitching? On paper, not so much. Yet, he picks up unknown guys who put random letters in their unpronounceable name (see: EdiNson Volquez and Jair Jurrjens) who proceed to pitch like Johan Santana and Jake Peavy. UPL members who weren't paying any attention beware. We will not be held liable for any fantasy casualties that may occur as a result of trading with Roland.

To those of you who have read this far, congrats for putting up with this much whining on your free time. Now I have to go see whether or not Mark Prior is available. Then again, maybe not.