Damn Reds, Damn Yankees

So lots of folks (myself included) had some hope for the Reds this year, mainly due to the starting rotation. Cueto was supposed to keep improving. Harang was supposed to bounce back. Arroyo was going to be his usual slightly above average self. We'd get some help w/ Chapman and Leake, and maybe Volquez could put us over the top in August.

Leake's been about what you'd hope for. But Harang, Cueto, and Arroyo are not owned in the UPL, and have a combined ERA of about 7. Ouch. Volquez has been suspended for taking unicorn hormone extract. And Chapman is still in the minors... and by the way, we're already 3 games under .500 and 4 games out of first - in late April. Damn Reds.

Between the Reds, Red Sox, White Sox, Cubs, and Brewers, the majority of the UPL is 9 games under .500 in real-life. Only Pauly's Fish are doing well (2 games over .500). If it wasn't for fantasy baseball, we'd probably have a dozen baseball fans grumbling through the marathon season that is Major League Baseball. In the past, my only recourse was to lease my soul and root for the Yankees once my Reds were out of contention (the typical change-over date would be May 15 or so).* While hope springs eternal, it seems to die pretty early for most baseball fans. However, fantasy baseball has given 2nd life for us suckers, who would otherwise spend the dog days of summer in purgatory. I'm a little less vested in the Yankees, while the O.N. Thugs make their annual pilgrimage to the top of the UPL. But win or lose, once October rolls around, I can't help but keep rooting for Derek Jeter and those Damn Yankees.

What's interesting is that in real life, I've started to actually like the players that put on the O.N. Thugs' fantasy uniform. Ascending fantasy gods (I hope) like Clayton Kershaw, who play for a team that I dislike (always hated the Dodgers - they always killed my Reds), would have ordinarily become a hated player, instead becomes "my guy" in real life. Established fantasy gods like David Wright (sans 2009) and Tim Lincecum, who I'd likely admire, but probably dislike, become some of my favorites. Guys like Julio Borbon, Akinori Iwamura and Shin-Shoo Choo, who normally would get mocked for their funny names and their ethnic heritages... well, they still get mocked, but only in a mildly racist way. Players like Jay Bruce or Joey Votto, who are on the Reds? Well, I want them to do well... good enough for the Reds to win, but maybe not so well that their fantasy owners really see a huge benefit :-)

And once in a great while there is an aspiring hero like Aroldis Chapman (or Deron Williams for me in hoops a couple years ago)? The prospects on my real life team, as well as my fantasy team? He ends up being Church. The Word. The Gospel. The One who bridges the gap between two worlds, the real life world and the fantasy world that we often look to when the tides of the real world are overwhelming. Sometimes we find a savior, and sometimes we find a false prophet. We don't necessarily know which path our aspiring heroes will take. But the matter takes on additional importance. Our fantasy salvation is at stake.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)


*In my defense, I moved up to Albany, NY in 1993 at the start of high school, right when the Yankees were turning things around. Lots of games on TV. And we had the AA team right there in Albany, where I got to meet a young Derek Jeter, who was great with the fans and always stayed to sign every last autograph, including the small stack of rookie cards that he was gracious enough to sign. The leasing of my soul has become less and less painful over the years, to the point where I sort of look forward to rooting for a winning team in May or June.

2009-10 UPL Basketball Post-Season Awards v. 2.0

So, tip of the cap to C-Lauff for his W, and for breaking the O.N. Thugs' deathgrip on UPL Basketball. And I'll chime in with my more traditional version of the UPL post-season awards. The major difference is that I don't adhere to the NBA positions, and instead include our fantasy starting positions. Also, I don't think that having a 3rd team is all that sexy :-)

All-UPL First Team:

PG: Deron Williams, O.N. Thugs
SG: Dwayne Wade, IAmJabrone
G: Steve Nash, Phatsnapper
SF: LeBron James, Wakeup with the King
PF: Dirk Nowitzki, Chowtime
F: Kevin Durant, Love T'Wolves
C: David Lee, IamJabrone
C: Chris Bosh, Love T'Wolves
UTIL: Jason Kidd, SuckMyDribbling Balls
UTIL: Brook Lopez, O.N. Thugs

All-UPL Second Team

PG: Rajon Rondo, Love T'Wolves
SG: Kobe Bryant, O.N. Thugs
G: Stephen Curry, Wakeup with the King
SF: Gerald Wallace, Wakeup with the King
PF: Carlos Boozer, O.N. Thugs
F: Danny Granger, Chowtime
C: Zach Randolph, Love T'Wolves
C: Amare Stoudemire, Phatsnapper
UTIL: Josh Smith, IamJabrone
UTIL: Carmelo Anthony, IamJabrone

UPL Keeper Killer Team

PG: Chris Paul, Sparty Rules
SG: Brandon Roy, O.N. Thugs
G: Gilbert Arenas, IamJabrone
SF: Caron Butler, Westy's Balltastics
PF: Atawan Jamison, Phatsnapper
F: Al Jefferson, Westy's Balltastics
C: Elton Brand, n/a
C: Andris Biedrins, n/a
UTIL: Jose Calderon, Chowtime
UTIL: Devin Harris, Westy's Balltastics

Team of the Year: IamJabrone
Executive of the year: C-Lauff*
UPL MVP - Dwayne Wade, IamJabrone
UPL ROY - Stephen Curry, Wakeup with the King
UPL Out of Nowhere Veterans- Channing Frye, Westy's Balltastics and Carl Landry, IamJabberjaw
UPL Out of Nowhere Young Players - Al Horford, IamJabrone and Anthony Morrow, IamJabberjaw
UPL Out of Nowhere Rookies - Marcus Thornton, Westy's Balltastics and Darren Collison, IamJabrone

*I have a hard time putting someone in here who botched the draft lottery, and then compounded the mistake by hanging on to Anthony Randolph way too long, and then misplayed the endgame... that said, there's no other choice. I can't put myself in there because you can't have an executive of the year that a) missed the draft, and b) missed the last day of the season and left 2-3 games on the table.

Thoughts - I'll talk more about the endgame and the O.N. Thugs/IamJabrone storyline, in a future post. Obviously, the botching of the Taj Gibson situation looms large (I thought that I had put him in at SF, not Reggie Williams - to the point, where I was telling Mikey that I had started him that Wednesday night, before I had a chance to look at my team that night). I'll explain how things went as planned for the O.N. Thugs, until the last 3 days of the season, how the O.N. Thugs deliberately chose to walk a highwire act (out of necessity), and how a handful of unexpected DNP's completely changed.

As for everything else, I think that it's clear that Love T'Wolves should be a scary team. If that team is shrewdly managed, then they are on the podium, and have a fair shot at winning this year. SuckMyDribblingBalls makes the podium, though it's not clear that his roster will have the firepower to really compete for titles. Sparty's team will have a chance so long as CP3 is healthy, Wakeup with the King did a nice job in the 2nd half of the season revamping it's lineup and still has LeBron. Chowtime was bit by injuries early on, and never recovered, though his team looks to have a chance next year. Westy? Don't know how that team will age, but there needs to be some work. As for everyone else? There's work to be done, as well.

2010 UPL Basketball Post-Season Awards

Somehow, last year we were remiss by not handing out awards for the '08 UPL Basketball Season. So, in the spirit of giving equal treatment to all UPL sports, I've decided to give unofficial awards for excellence this year. Without further ado, here goes:

All UPL First Team
PG: Deron Williams - O.N. Thugs
SG: Kevin Durant - Love Timberwolves
SF: Lebron James - Wakeup with the King
PF: Dirk Nowitzki - Chowtime
C: David Lee - IamJabrone

All UPL Second Team
PG: Steve Nash - Phatsnapper
SG: Dwayne Wade - IamJabrone
SF: Carmelo Anthony - IamJabrone
PF: Carlos Boozer - O.N. Thugs
C: Chris Bosh - Love Timberwolves

All UPL Third Team
PG: Stephen Curry - Wakeup with the King
SG: Kobe Bryant - O.N. Thugs
SF: Josh Smith - IamJabrone
PF: Amar'e Stoudemire - Phatsnapper
C: Dwight Howard - SuckMyDribblingBalls

All UPL Apology Team (AKA Honorable Mention)
PG: Rajon Rondo - Love Timberwolves
SG: Joe Johnson - IamJabrone
SF: Gerald Wallace - Wakeup with the King
PF: Brook Lopez - O.N. Thugs
C: Zack Randolph - Love Timberwolves

All UPL Injury Team (top players who hurt their teams the most because of injury)
PG: Chris Paul - Sparty Rules
SG: Danny Granger - Chowtime
SF: Brandon Roy - O.N. Thugs
PF: Kevin Garnett - Westy's Balltastics
C: Pau Gasol - Chowtime

UPL Rookie Player of the Year: Stephen Curry (Wakeup with the King)
Honorable Mention: Tyreke Evans (Wakeup with the King)

Best Draft Pick: Stephen Curry in the 12th round (Chowtime, later traded to Wakeup with the King)

UPL Manager of the Year: IamJabrone (especially after being picked to finish middle of the pack by the O.N. Thugs and winning it all anyways)

Next year should be a very interesting transition year given the state of some teams and their rosters as they currently stand. There are teams that need to think about getting younger (Westy's Balltastics), teams with solid cores that need to start paying attention (Love Timberwolves), and teams with ridiculous young backcourt talent (Wakeup with the King). And, there are teams that are set-up to contend for the next few years (O.N. Thugs, IamJabrone) and teams that are oh-so-close (chowtime, Sparty Rules, and SuckMyDribblingBalls, Westy's Balltastics). In any case, next year should be interesting.

What do you think? Are these awards well-deserved or did someone get ripped off?

Endgame Houdini

I'll come out and say it. If C-Lauff pulls out the upset in hoops, I will tip my cap to him. We haven't really gotten into an endgame situation, mainly for selfish reasons. I don't want to tip my hand or give out free advice in a potentially uncertain situation (though I don't know how uncertain it is, really).

	FG%	FT%	3PM	PTS	OREB	REB	AST	STL	BLK	A/TO	TOT
O.N. Thugs	8	6.5	4	10	10	9	11	7.5	6	10	82
IamJabrone	9	5	3	11	9	6	10	9	8	9	79
SuckMyDribblingBalls	10	1	6	5	8	8	9	10	11	6.5	74.5
Westy's Balltastics	5.5	3	5	7	6	11	8	11	9	8	73.5
Sparty Rules	2	9	10	3	7	7	5	6	10	11	70
Love Timberwolves	7	10	1	9	11	10	3	5	2	1	59
chowtime	4	11	7	8	5	5	6	2	5	3	56
Wakeup with the King	5.5	2	8	6	3	4	7	7.5	7	5	55
Floor burns	3	6.5	9	2	4	3	4	4	4	6.5	46
IamJabberjaw	1	8	11	4	1	1	1	3	1	2	33
Phatsnapper	11	4	2	1	2	2	2	1	3	4	32

As of right now, he's a few points back. It's not so much the current endgame situation that I'm commenting on, but rather the constraints that his roster structure have imposed on him (with average stats over the last month)...

	FG%	FT%	3PM	PTS	OREB	REB	AST	STL	BLK	A/TO
Jrue Holiday	0.522	0.778	1.4	14.3	1.3	4.5	5.9	2.1	0.4	1.745
Louis Williams	0.378	0.900	0.3	9.6	0.4	2.9	3.8	0.8	0.0	1.789
Derrick Rose	0.474	0.783	0.7	19.1	0.8	4.1	7.1	0.4	0.5	3.737
Carmelo Anthony	0.459	0.844	0.5	27.5	2.9	7.8	3.0	1.0	0.5	1.216
Josh Smith	0.457	0.554	0.0	15.4	2.9	8.7	4.8	1.6	2.0	1.718
Joe Johnson	0.435	0.784	1.5	20.0	1.0	4.5	6.0	0.9	0.0	3.667
David Lee	0.515	0.855	0.0	20.8	3.7	13.1	4.3	1.1	0.7	2.000
Anthony Tolliver	0.450	0.827	1.5	13.6	2.2	8.0	2.1	1.1	0.8	1.667
Al Horford	0.591	0.795	0.0	15.5	3.4	10.9	2.3	0.8	0.9	1.280
Dwyane Wade	0.510	0.779	0.8	27.5	1.5	6.0	6.3	2.1	1.3	1.872
Darren Collison	0.482	0.818	0.9	15.4	0.5	2.8	8.2	1.1	0.1	2.510
Jermaine O'Neal	0.537	0.796	0.0	17.2	1.2	5.9	1.1	0.6	1.7	0.667
Anthony Randolph	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
Gilbert Arenas	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-

You'll note a couple roster peculiarities. The first is that he's carrying a gunner. And I don't mean a guy that doesn't pass. Well, sort of. I guess that Arenas doesn't really pass. But he's a gunner for so many more reasons. It's tough to hang on to Agent Zero for the season, and still be able to make roster moves. So, basically what the Jabrones are saying is that Arenas is definitely going to kept next year. Similarly, hanging on to Anthony Randolph, despite his injury (and his spotty playing time before that) indicates that he'll be kept, as well. We've expanded rosters in our UPL keeper leagues so that we can accommodate situations like Arenas or Al Jefferson last year for Westy, so that you still have options. However, when you start carrying additional players that aren't playing, then your options tighten up - in a sense, you are handcuffed.

You'll notice that you see some interesting names on the Jabrone roster. The most interesting name is probably Darren Collison. Before Chris Paul returned, Collison was going nuts, going 16 and 9 on a regular basis. And as a result, the Jabrones made a bit of a run on AST and A/TO. However, since CP3's return, Collison has come back down to earth, averaging 11 and 4 in the last week, and has become only a borderline play. So, this means that to keep up the pressure on AST and A/TO, the Jabrones have to look elsewhere. Enter Jrue Holliday, who has been playing well. However in the 3 games that he's played for the Jabrones, plus the 5 (maybe 6) games that he will probably play, he will probably come up 50 to 55 AST short of what Collison was putting up, and likely at a noticeably lower A/TO ratio. But give the Jabrones credit, they're doing what they can to make up the loss. They got some mileage out of Randy Foye right after Agent Zero's incident. And that was going well until the Wiz had their fire sale, and that was when Collison entered the picture. That combination helped the Jabrones crawl back into the AST and A/TO race w/ the Thugs. But the return of CP3 has slowed things down. Theyve tried Toney Douglas, Jarrett Jack, and even Will Bynum. They've even gone after O.N. Thugs castoff Louis Williams (who's been ripped off in Philly this year).

Let's just say that the 2 point swing in AST and the 2 point swing in A/TO would be huge int he standings (that alone would reverse the standings). I don't know if they can pull off the miracle.

Part of it may be the numbers. But the Thugs do have something to say about this situation. The Thugs' AST total has been driven in large part by D-Will and Westbrook, who combine for just under 19 AST/g, which is a huge total, considering an average of 4.3 AST/g, across 820 games, would take that category. Throughout the first half of the season, the Thugs had padded their lead in AST by playing Louis Williams (until he broke his jaw) and Brandon Jennings (who was traded). Since then, they've been somewhat hanging on to the lead in AST, and their hold on 2nd place in A/TO. The Jabrones had been clawing back since then, so the Thugs looked for a little help in a very unlikely place.

Enter Mike Conley. This fella was much maligned by the O.N. Thugs when he was on Westy's roster. Westy's defense was that many advanced stats indicated that Conley was a good player. The O.N. Thugs' retort was to inquire about whether these stats included winning in fantasy. After Westy dropped Conley, he made the comment that advanced stats don't win fantasy. And after Conley was unemployed in the UPL, save for some random stints. Then on March 17, the Thugs swallowed their pride, and picked up Mike Conley, after noticing that he had been playing well in March. In fact, over the last month, Conley has gone 16 and 6, with pretty efficient rate numbers.

So, the question of whether or not the Thugs have quelled this little AST and A/TO rebellion by the Jabrones is still up in the air. But with the return of CP3, it appears that the O.N. Thugs are somewhat safe... and perhaps that the Jabrones won't get to play the role of Houdini.

Next time, I will post about how the O.N. Thugs may have played the role of Houdini this time around, and how the Jabrones may have cost themselves the biggest prize in UPL Basketball.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

The Jimmy Dix Restructuring

I'll freely admit that the last few weeks have been a bit of a surprise to the Jimmy Dix Longballs. My team finished in the last third of the standings for 2009, and despite having quite a bit of infield flexibility, we lacked several critical factors. So, as David Bowie once said, "Ch-ch-ch-changes!" Lets start our little journey through the makeover of a team with a look at the top 19, the Protected Keepers and the Unprotected Keepers from last year's team:

Protected Keepers
C - Brian McCann
1B - Derrick Lee
2B - Ian Kinsler
3B - Evan Longoria
3B/SS - Gordon Beckham
OF - Nelson Cruz
OF/1B - Kendry Morales
SP - Cliff Lee
SP - John Danks
SP - Jered Weaver
RP - Bobby Jenks
RP - Brad Lidge

Unprotected Keepers
SS - Alexei Ramierez
OF - Colby Rasmus
OF -Nick Swisher
OF - Michael Cuddyer
SP - James Shields
SP - Mark Buehrle
SP - Edinson Volquez

All in all, its a team of mediocrity. A couple of elite players in Kinsler, Longoria and (when he was with the Phillies) Cliff Lee. A couple of shaky closers. Some pop, some speed, but not too much of either. Well, here's what my Protected Keepers (if we expanded again next year, everyone would keep 13) would look like this time around....

Protected Keeper
C- Brian McCann
1B - Adrian Gonzalez
1B - Derrick Lee
2B - Gordon Beckham
3B - Evan Longoria
OF -BJ Upton
OF- Nelson Cruz
SP - Jon Lester
SP - Cliff Lee
SP - John Danks
RP - Jose Valverde
RP - Brad Lidge
RP- Bobby Jenks

Just a little bit different, right? Well, lets walk through how that happened. Thanks to the wonders of statistics (and the Jimmy Dix Longballers' lackluster 2009) I had the first pick in the draft. Shortly before said draft, I got an email from Pauly offering me a trade for the first overall pick. After some negotiations, we came to this agreement:

Trade #1

Jimmy Dix gave up:
1B -Kendry Morales
1st Round pick (1st overall of expansion - i.e. Jason Heyward)
5th Round pick

Hats for Bats gave up:
1B - Adrian Gonzalez
RP - Jose Valverde
1st Round Pick (5th overall)

Now, if I hadn't let my overwhelming distrust of young fireballers take over for my common sense (i.e. the Mark Prior effect) I'd have called this trade a steal because I would've taken Aroldis Chapman when he fell down to the 5th pick. But instead I grabbed Marlon Byrd, fully expecting to make a trade or two and needing a backup outfielder with some pop to fill a void. It was stupid, because as common sense points out there's still plenty of those guys available on waivers now. As it is, I got a slugger in Adrian Gonzalez and a closer in Jose Valverde filling two big needs. I wasn't so concerned giving up Kendry Morales - 1B is a good hitter's spot - but I'll admit that I'm slightly concerned because when scouts and analysts talk about Heyward they talk about Junior Griffey. The idea of trading that kind of a player away is, to be blunt, terrifying. Then an opportunity with the Benver Droncos came up....

Trade #2

Jimmy Dix gave up:
OF - Colby Rasmus
SP - Edinson Volquez

Benver Droncos gave up:
BJ Upton

BJ Upton had a bad 2009. Speculation for the reasoning ranges from injuries to a coming down to earth from previous seasons. Justin Upton is sexier to most fantasy experts. BJ Upton, despite having a bad year, was on avg with the Jimmy Dix's runs, avg. and obp. He also had 10 more steals than anyone on the roster. If Upton returns to his career average numbers, this trade'll be a win for me. If Rasmus lives up to his potential, and Volquez bounces back from his injury strong I might miss them. Either way, I traded two Unprotected Keepers for one guy who's a Protected Keeper so I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Trade #3

Jimmy Dix gave up:
2B - Ian Kinsler

Westy's Sluggers gave up:
SP - Jon Lester

Of all the trades I did this offseason, this is the one that may cost me the most. Ian Kinsler is a "five tool player", a 30 Homer 30 Steal 90+ Runs 90+ RBI guy. He's also injury prone. Jon Lester is a guy who'll pitch over 200 innings with over 200 strikeouts and decent stats and a team that should net wins behind him. Lester immediately became the ace of my staff. Kinsler... Kinsler will probably end up on Greg's staff, pending negotiations. Westy has a lot of negotiating power right now, as he just aquired 2B Robinson Cano as trade bait as well. What he doesn't have, at the moment, is elite starting pitching. Time will tell what I've enabled Westy to do here. I dont think I would've made this last trade if I'd picked up Chapman. Which means that my lack of preparation in the draft put off contending by one more year. But hey, its a long season, and I'm always willing to listen to a trade offer.

Now here's to hoping that Lidge and Jenks bounce back. I'd better stock up on beer and antacids.