New Face

We're welcoming a new face, which is really a familiar face, here at the UPL Blog. Greg, of '90 Reds fame, is joining as a contributor. As (we think) he will continue to post baseball trivia and other baseball fantasies, we're not sure if this is going to be a short-term or a regular thing, but we figure that he'll post about as often as C-Lauff and CJ do out here. So,welcom to Greg, the latest part of the motley crew that brings you the UPL Blog.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

More UPL Voices

Hey folks. In addition to Greg's musings, we have another place to hear about sports/fantasy thoughts:

Pauly's Fantasy Hoops and Baseball Corner

We may have to talk to Pauly about the name of the blog - not the sexiest name out there :-)

But in any case, anytime we get to hear from more folks, it's a W.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

Headlines

I swear, I'm still in 5th grade, but I still laugh hysterically whenever I see a headline like:

Rays rough up Wang

You see, that's funny because Wang is slang for wiener, which is slang for penis, which is slang for Wang. Plus, it's funny because Wang got roughed up, which is slang for masturbation, which is slang for spanking the monkey.

It's also funny because I'm a moron.

Heh... I can already see Westy rolling his eyes and C-Lauff laughing hysterically...

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

Say Hello

Just a little blurb - you know those cell phone ads that are telling us to make more cell phone calls with their company by switching "goodbye" with "hello" in everyday usage? For example, instead of "The Goodbye Girl," they show a marquee with "The Hello Girl." Or they show lovers hugging and saying "Hello" as one of them leaves in a packed car. Right. You know the ones I'm talking about.

But the best part of those ads? One of them has a teary-eyed Brett Favre sitting at a podium, made to look like his retirement press conference, saying "Hello" to all of his fans. Gotta love the Green Bay Packers' reaction to that one, when it turned out to be true.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

Spitting Venom

Greg, one of our UPL regulars has a knack for coming up with timely, hilarious postings. This one just had to be archived:

Somewhere in a New York club... by: '90 Reds

Jun 24 9:31pm

...earlier this week I was sitting by myself, having a beer, minding my own. There were some freestyle rappers performing and they were pretty good. But then something quite unexpected happened... As I watched the next performer limp onto the stage, I thought to myself: "That's not The Chairman. That's not The O.N. Thug. That's not The Roland... Or is it?" Once he started to let it flow, he removed all doubt... Uh, uh, yeah, check it You know how I be, last week Jabrone couldn't do without me He was talkin' 'bout a "Jabrone Risin'" About first place fantasizin' I was without net access Almost wearin' a deer head dress But Jabrone still couldn't usurp me Of course not That's like Westy sayin' he make better trades than me! That's like Rupert sayin' he had a better draft than me! That's like the Cheeseheads talkin' better smack than me! That's like the Whiffers havin' more trophies than me! That's like the dyslexic Benver Droncos readin' better than me! That's like JimmyDix havin' longer balls than me! Stop, think about that It's not about that C-Lauff, Jabrone, tell me how 5th place taste? Uh, yeah, uh, uh, Jabrone, tell me how 5TH PLACE taste! Uh, uh, yeah Everybody sing it [holds mike to crowd] JABRONE, TELL ME HOW 5TH PLACE TASTE!

So naturally, there had to be a follow-up:

Re: Somewhere in a New York club... by: O.N. Thugs

Jun 24 10:16pm

While I can't confirm or deny any reports, according to TMZ.com, there was also a second stanza: Who's on top of the UPL? It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well. Who's on top of the UPL? It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well. Haters talk big game. Punks try to chase fame. Like Eight Belles, They all come up lame. Too many imitators. But no duplicators. Chumps wanna hate us. Jabrones ride the short bus. The Milwaukee Whiffers? Swept up by my Swiffers. JimmyDix? That's too easy. Forget Phatsnapper. May as well be Cheesy. '90 Reds? That's 18 years past. Bret Boone don't star in this cast. Westy's Slugs? That's 18th place. Too far back to see your face. Who's on top of the UPL? It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well. Who's on top of the UPL? It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well.

As I look more closely, I think that I'd put the "Haters talk big game... ...they all come up lame." lines at the end, just to build the flow a little better. But it wasn't a bad first pass response to what Greg posted. Plus, there's nothing like dissin' a horse that's been recently euthanized.

I'm sure that the fine folks at PETA will be contacting us soon.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

Riding Out Storms II

The last few weeks have been sort of ridiculous. Defended my proposal on May 28. Wrapped up teaching for my summer school course. Drove out to Mizzou for a 5 day conference. Got back, and was prepping for a conference up in Chicago. Almost killed (and got killed by) a deer. Took off for Boston to help my brother pack up stuff for his move out to Hawaii. And finally got back home last night.

I think that I spent a few days in 2nd (and maybe even 3rd place). I was able to get online enough to update my roster a few times, and even pick up some new players. But, I haven't exactly been up to date on everything in either MLB or the UPL.

I knew that my catcher came back, and then got a concussion, so was out for a couple games. And I knew that my revolving door at SS had continued. I knew that my (historically) best starter was still getting lit up. And that my guys weren't really hitting (partially because I took on one too many bad hitting, fast guys).

So, it was interesting to find that somehow, someway, I'm still in first place right now. Go figure.

At this point, I've given up a few points in R, HR, and RBI, which hopefully will come back once Pujols gets off the DL. And when Furcal comes back, I should be able to close out more in R and SB. So, the offense should be OK. On the pitching side, my squad really needs Harang to not be terrible. Simply average from Harang may have been good enough to have this league put away by now (if he was 7-6, rather than 3-10, there would be a 7 point swing in the standings).

But as it stands, it's back to work :-)

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)

Mama and Papa TMR

Yeah. So it turns out that Len Berry is one of the most influential marketing professors in the world, and we just honored him (along with 4 other professors) with the Paul D. Converse Award, which is only given out every 4 years. It's sort of a lifetime achievement thing. Of course, I don't really do much other than what I do in my research, so I had no idea who Len Berry was. But then I heard that Len Berry's son was Matthew Berry, aka The Talented Mr. Roto (TMR), of espn.com fame. Of course, I knew who TMR was. Somehow, I don't think that was surprising.

So, I ended up hanging out with Len and Nancy Berry a bit this weekend, chatting at dinner on both Friday and Saturday (a little research, and just chatting about life, and of course, fantasy sports, and how it's changed in the past 10 years with the movement of the Internet into the mainstream). They were great people, and were so proud of their son, of course.

It turned out that TMR started playing rotisserie baseball 24 years ago, at the age of 14. Back in the day, you added up stats by hand, probably week to week, and then mailed out hard copies to people. And since it was so time consuming, it was restricted to a niche audience. And if I had to guess, you didn't have to be particularly sophisticated to do well.

Now flash forward. Fantasy baseball had embraced some relatively advanced statistical analyses, information moves quickly. You get updates (and can change lineups) on a daily basis, and sometimes in real time (if you're willing to pay for it). Even the stats that are used have changed. While most roto leagues still go with the old school 5x5, many change up which 5 categories are used, and the very progressive UPL has gone to a 6x6 league, using slightly more SABRmetric-compatible stats like OBP and SLG. We still can't customize things enough to get things like adjusted OPS, or RC/27, and the like, and really get fielding stats worked in there. But we've found a happy medium.

Folks like TMR who got in early, and was innovative with the use of the internet early on, now have the luxury of talking about fantasy sports for a living. And you know what? More power to them. They were the trend setters who have helped fantasy get to where it is now. Are they the geniuses that they have to position themselves as? Maybe. Obviously, football is more or less a crapshoot. But I'd bet that finishing in the top 25% of a UPL roto league is just as hard as any other league that you'd come across, especially with people slowly catching up to the O.N. Thugs the last couple years. Maybe I can ask my new friends if they can get me into a league with their son, just to see how the UPL's reigning champ does against other "experts." Just FYI, last football season, I actually played in 2 other non-UPL fantasy football leagues (my only non-UPL leagues, since we've started), and somehow won both of them, and I'm guessing that our UPL members do well in their other leagues. And we've definitely diverged from what I wanted to talk about in this post... so getting things back on track...

What's become interesting is how, while many "male" institutions (e.g., barber shops, "Cheers" type-bars, hanging out in the garage, etc.) where guys would just hang have diminished, we have taken new-age institutions, like fantasy sports on the internet. I've noticed that with my friends, the ones who play fantasy sports are the ones that I keep in touch with most regularly. Those who don't? Sporadic, at best. People are busier with work, and planning out weekends well in advance are the norm. The few minutes a day that you use to check your lineup, send a mocking e-mail or message board post, and have time for dudes being dudes (albeit online) seem to be more valuable than ever.

So, here's to the internet, fantasy sports, and to dudes being dudes.

-Chairman, aka O.N. Thugs