Greg, one of our UPL regulars has a knack for coming up with timely, hilarious postings. This one just had to be archived:
Somewhere in a New York club...
by:  '90 Reds | Jun 24 9:31pm |
...earlier this week I was sitting by myself, having a beer, minding my own. There were some freestyle rappers performing and they were pretty good.
But then something quite unexpected happened...
As I watched the next performer limp onto the stage, I thought to myself: "That's not The Chairman. That's not The O.N. Thug. That's not The Roland... Or is it?" Once he started to let it flow, he removed all doubt...
Uh, uh, yeah, check it
You know how I be, last week Jabrone couldn't do without me
He was talkin' 'bout a "Jabrone Risin'"
About first place fantasizin'
I was without net access
Almost wearin' a deer head dress
But Jabrone still couldn't usurp me
Of course not
That's like Westy sayin' he make better trades than me!
That's like Rupert sayin' he had a better draft than me!
That's like the Cheeseheads talkin' better smack than me!
That's like the Whiffers havin' more trophies than me!
That's like the dyslexic Benver Droncos readin' better than me!
That's like JimmyDix havin' longer balls than me!
Stop, think about that
It's not about that
C-Lauff, Jabrone, tell me how 5th place taste?
Uh, yeah, uh, uh,
Jabrone, tell me how 5TH PLACE taste!
Uh, uh, yeah
Everybody sing it [holds mike to crowd]
JABRONE, TELL ME HOW 5TH PLACE TASTE! |
So naturally, there had to be a follow-up:
Re: Somewhere in a New York club...
by:  O.N. Thugs | Jun 24 10:16pm |
While I can't confirm or deny any reports, according to TMZ.com, there was also a second stanza:
Who's on top of the UPL?
It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well.
Who's on top of the UPL?
It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well.
Haters talk big game.
Punks try to chase fame.
Like Eight Belles,
They all come up lame.
Too many imitators.
But no duplicators.
Chumps wanna hate us.
Jabrones ride the short bus.
The Milwaukee Whiffers?
Swept up by my Swiffers.
JimmyDix? That's too easy.
Forget Phatsnapper. May as well be Cheesy.
'90 Reds? That's 18 years past.
Bret Boone don't star in this cast.
Westy's Slugs? That's 18th place.
Too far back to see your face.
Who's on top of the UPL?
It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well.
Who's on top of the UPL?
It's the O.N. Thugs you know so well. |
As I look more closely, I think that I'd put the "Haters talk big game... ...they all come up lame." lines at the end, just to build the flow a little better. But it wasn't a bad first pass response to what Greg posted. Plus, there's nothing like dissin' a horse that's been recently euthanized.
I'm sure that the fine folks at PETA will be contacting us soon.
-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)
2 comments:
I resemble all those remarks. How come I'm the league whipping boy? I"m just a guy trying to make his butter and upset the NY Yankees, Detroit Red Wings, Roger Federer of UPL Fantasy Baseball. Doesn't anyone root for the underdog anymore?
My favorites? "That's like Westy sayin' he make better trades than me!" and "90 Reds? That's 18 years past.
Bret Boone don't star in this cast." Of course, the rips on the much-maligned Jabrones are all good too, but Greg's going to have to revise his lyrics, because I have no idea how 5th place taste.
Back in the day, with C-Lauff, George, Mikey, True, Schultzie, and J.R. Rider, we'd be freestyling, and we'd say a lot worse. If I've hurt anyone's feelings, I apologize.
That said, I've always liked my 18th place references, as well.
And you have to be sort of special to rhyme "hate us" with "short bus."
When are we going to see your reply in the UPL beef?
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