Monday, December 28, 2009

2009 UPL Football Post-Season Awards

As I was searching for a template for the 2009 UPL Football Post-Season Awards posting, I realized that I must have neglected to put one up for 2008... so I suppose that I may go back and sneak in a posting when I get some motivation... but in any case, here are the awards for 2009:


First Team Second Team
QB: Drew Brees - Dino Peyton Manning - D.Rose
WR: Andre Johnson - Jabrone DeSean Jackson - Westy
WR: Wes Welker - GB Slappers Brandon Marshall - O.N. Thugs
RB: Chris Johnson - Dino Steven Jackson - Westy
RB: MoJo Drew - FireZook Ray Rice - Jabrone
TE: Dallas Clark - GenErics Antonio Gates - FireZook
Flex: Adrian Peterson - Jabrone Thomas Jones - D.Rose
W/T Flex: Randy Moss - O.N. Thugs Larry Fitzgerald - Shufflers
K: David Akers - SuckFootballs Nate Kaeding - O.N. Thugs
DEF: New Orleans - O.N. Thugs Phiadelphia - Shufflers
DB: Charles Woodson - 12th Place Darren Sharper - GenErics
DL: Jared Allen - D.Rose Elvis Dumerville - 12th Place
LB: Patrick Willis - JimmyDix Brian Cushing - O.N. Thugs
D Flex: Jon Beason - Jabrone David Harris - O.N. Thugs



Honorable Mention
QB: Aaron Rodgers - I Giocatori
WR: Reggie Wayne - FireZook
WR: Miles Austin - Dino
RB: Frank Gore - Westy
RB: Ricky Williams - O.N. Thugs
TE: Vernon Davis - Dino
Flex: Joseph Addai - Dino
W/T Flex: Steve Smith (NY) - Dino
K: Rob Bironas - Westy
DEF: San Francisco - FireZook
DB: Brian Dawkins - n/a
DL: Julius Peppers - SuckFootballs
LB: Paul Posluszny - Dino
D Flex: David Hawthorne - I Giocatori


And of course, we do have some newer categories, the All-UPL Team Killers, as well as the All-UPL Upside Specials, which are pretty self-explanatory, once you see the lists. Basically, these are the draft/FA decisions that helped kill or make the teams that made these choices.


Team Killers Upside Specials
QB: Jay Cutler - SuckFootballs Brett Favre - SuckFootballs
WR: Calvin Johnson - Reggie'sBush Miles Austin - Dino
WR: Dwayne Bowe - Reggie'sBush Steve Smith (NYG) - Dino
RB: Brian Westbrook - D.Rose Jamaal Charles - FireZook
RB: Steve Slaton - Reggie'sBush Ricky Williams - O.N. Thugs
TE: Chris Cooley - Westy Vernon Davis - Dino
Flex: Clinton Portis - Jabrone Darren Sproles - O.N. Thugs
W/T Flex: Antonio Bryant - D.Rose Sidney Rice - Westy
K: Stephen Gostkowski - Westy Nate Kaeding - O.N. Thugs
DEF: New York Giants - SuckFootballs New Orleans - O.N. Thugs
DB: Justin Miller - GB Slappers Charles Woodson - 12th Place
DL: Willie Williams - GB Slappers Jared Allen - D.Rose
LB: Mike Vrabel - GB Slappers Patrick Willis - JimmyDix
D Flex: Allen Rossum - FireZook David Harris - O.N. Thugs

Note, the everything below is pending the outcome of the Bears game tonight, as Superbowl Shuffling's Matt Forte needs 65.48 points to pull off a miracle upset.

UPL MVP: Drew Brees - Dino's Revenge
UPL Offensive Player of the Year: Chris Johnson - Dino's Revenge
UPL Defensive Player of the Year: Patick Willis - JimmyDixSpecials
UPL Golden Toe Award: David Akers - SuckMyFootballs
UPL Offensive Rookie of the Year: Percy Harvin - Dino's Revenge
UPL Defensive Rookie of the Year: Brian Cushing - O.N. Thugs
UPL Comeback Player of the Year: Carson Palmer - IAmJabrone
UPL Out of Nowhere Player: Brent Celek - JimmyDixSpecials
Team of the Year: Dino's Revenge

Naturally, there were a few strange happenings along the way.

Most Lopsided Trade: Greg Olson (to Westy) for Jamaal Charles (to Dino)
Starting in week 10 (the first week after the trade), Charles' point totals: 29.20, 31.40, 24.80, 15.45, and in the 3 weeks of the playoffs: 34.35, 30.70, and 19.45. The next time you hear Westy whine about being "unlucky" remind him of this trade. And if you hear Curran brag, remind him about his gift from Westy. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Much Ado About Nothing Trades: Wes Welker, Kellen Winslow, and Brett Favre (to GB Slappers) for Adrian Peterson, Todd Heap, and Chansi Stuckey (to SuckFootballs).
You'd figure that a trade featuring this many stars would have major championship implications. Instead, all it did was remove one team from playoff contention (SuckFootballs), while not doing enough to get the other team into the playoffs (GB Slappers). All told, it's pretty clear that OD got the shaft on this one (especially since Cutler just got worse and worse). But still. Not much of an effect here.

Whoops, I Should've Started That Guy: Jerome Harrison - IAmJabrone (Week 15).
It's not often that you see a running back reel off 286 yards on 34 carries, and score 3 TD and go for 56.10 fantasy points. And it's even less often that you see him on the bench, in favor of some dude named LeSean McCoy, who has set the record for the most capital letters in a name. And it's even less often that you see this mistake cost a team a return trip to the championship game (and probably back-to-back titles). The moral of this story is never trust someone with 4 capital letters in their name.

Laying an Egg When it Matters, and Scoring When It Doesn't: BradyToMoss - O.N. Thugs (Weeks 15 and 16).
Naturally, when it's for all the marbles in Week 15, we see BradyToMoss put up a combined 25.85 points, short of not only the 52.61 that the duo had averaged all season, but also short of the 36.61 that was projected (which would have won by a tiny margin). Then with the pressure off of, in the 3rd Place game, when they're projected for 48.18 points, BradyToMoss go nuts, and combine for 7 TD's, and put up a combined 81.73 points, and led the O.N. Thugs to the high score of the week.

Deja vu All Over Again: Superbowl Shuffling vs. the O.N. Thugs (2008 and 2009).
The O.N. Thugs are up by (number between 30 to 40) points, going into a night game, with Superbowl Shuffling's (name of black QB) needing to score some points to win. The (name of black QB) struggled early on, but was able to right the ship and squeeze out a victory for Superbowl Shuffling. Superbowl Shuffling was unable to complete the UPL Championship, when they were defeated in the finals by (eventual UPL champion). The loss to the (name of black QB)-led Superbowl Shuffling relegated the O.N. Thugs to the consolation bracket where they would have outscored (eventual UPL champion).

High-Level Performances: Dino's Revenge, O.N. Thugs, IAmJabrone, and Superbowl Shuffling.
All told, Dino's performance was one for the ages. Not only did he shatter the regular season points scored record by being the first team over 2500 points in the regular season (though, this is the first season we've used 4 IDP's), he continued the dominance in the playoffs by averaging about 213 points per game in the playoffs. Nearly as solid was the O.N. Thugs' regular season run with the 2nd highest all-time point total, but also a near-perfect 12-1 run. Their playoffs weren't terrible, but a hiccup in the semifinals has allowed the O.N. Thugs' to put a slightly different stamp on the UPL record books. Instead of being the best UPL Football team in history, this is now the best UPL team to not win a championship. The other semifinal teams were also impressive in the playoffs, posting the 4 highest totals in the 1st round of the playoffs. With the possible exception of Superbowl Shuffling in the finals, each score will be over 180, with a cumulative average of at least 202 points scored (likely 203 or 204, pending Matt Forte's performance on Monday Night Football). And as noted above, this also includes IAmJabrone's benching of Jerome Harrison's 56 fantasy points in the semifinals!

In any case, 2009 UPL Football was one for the record books. We'll see what the new decade brings.

-Chairman (aka O.N. Thugs)